BEAR REUNITED WITH HOLLY MARCH 31, 2012

Holly RIP June 22, 2010 and her brother Bear RIP March 31, 2012
Inseparable in life and together once more

Bear went over the Rainbow Bridge at 1:00 MDT on March 31, 2012.  The next day would have marked the 12th anniversary of his coming to his forever home with me.  He was almost 13 and I had every expectation he would grow to a ripe old age of 20+, but it was not to be.  Bear was diagnosed with nasal cancer on January 3, 2012 and we had hoped that chemotherapy would give him a good remission, perhaps even a year.  Again, it was not to be.  He responded poorly to chemo, and even though the tumor shrank, his health and quality of life deteriorated significantly.  He developed diabetes and lost his appetite.  The last few months he slept all day in the guest room and all night with me, seldom even coming out to see what was going on in other areas of the house.  I celebrated the times he ate and walked around, but they were so ptifully few.   A week before he died I took him off chemo and even that did not improve his energy or interest in life.  I think he was sick and tired of feeling bad and of the injections and numerous pills.  He seemed to look at me with such a longing to be done with this chapter. 

On Saturday, March 31, Bear developed other symptoms that were so humiliating to him.  I washed him and took him for his last hated car ride.   His regular vet clinic was Mountainwood Pet Hospital in Windsor, which was where Drs. Arun Rustgi and Roger Brown were the first to realize something was very wrong with Bear's breathing in January.  From there he was referred to Peak Veterinary Specialists for further diagnosis and treatment.  Dr. Ellen Miller led a valiant fight for Bear's remission after the nasal cancer was discovered, but he was not strong enough.   It was at Mountainwood that Bear went over the Rainbow Bridge.  Dr. Roger Brown and my sister Stacie, the clinic's practice manager, were there to guide him on his way.  My sister Terri, who had known Bear from the day he arrived, was also there and brother-in-law Larry and his dog Bentley came to say goodbye.  It was a gut-wrenching decision for me and a peaceful passing for Bear.   I was able to hold him through it all and am comforted with the knowledge that until his last breath, this cat knew he was loved dearly.  I can't thank Dr. Roger and Stacie enough for their professional and personal support and their gentle approach to this process.

Meanwhile, back at home there is grief and loneliness from Bear's younger "brother."

Bear and Aidan Patrick 2011

After Holly died in 2010, a little brother called Aidan came to be with Bear.  They formed a nice friendship, but it was not anything like Bear's bonding with Holly, his forever partner.  Nevertheless, Aidan Patrick has been far more affected by Bear's loss than I expected.  He will not go into the room where Bear spent the last several months, but parks himself in the hall near there so he can keep an eye out for Bear's return.  He clings to me and follows me around the house, vocalizing loudly.  I wonder if he's asking when big brother will be coming home.  It is heartbreaking...

Aidan will need a companion, but it's very hard to think of that right now.  Anyone who has lost a beloved pet knows the pain is so very hard to bear.  Godspeed to Bear, my Prince of Cats.

IS IT MARCH ALREADY?

I can't believe I haven't posted since January.  Ever since Bear's cancer diagnosis, I've been pretty much focused on his health.  We're moving along with his chemotherapy and three weeks ago he was also diagnosed with diabetes.  Between his insulin injections 2X daily, his numerous daily meds, and his now every three weeks IV chemo, we are busy.  He is ever the gentleman, never complains, and accepts his various treatments bravely.  I must say humans can eventually make just about anything the status quo.  We are living in his new normal and I'm hoping he will have a decent remission before I have to face the next big thing.  I dread the idea of losing him....

In late January, The Gabriel Foundation participated in a bird festival at a very cool local nursery.  TGF is where my cockatoo Sydney lives now - he does outreach and education for the organization.  I was able to work the event and spend the whole day with him.  He was totally charming and everyone was very amused by his antics.  It makes me feel so good to know he's in a better place than I could provide where he has lots of stimulation and a real job to do!  I can never thank the Gabriel people enough for allowing him into their program.

JOY!!!!!!!!!!

Sydney realizes he's going to get a shower!

Syd demonstrates the correct way to take apart a spool and then put it back together. 

It's best to watch TV with a cat in your lap!

Mags came for a nice visit in February, albeit short.  It was quite cold and snowy so we stayed hunkered down and watched DVRs of Criminal Minds and sewed a little.  No running around looking for yaks and alpacas, though we did see a lot of the nearby llamas, simply because one can see them out my patio window.

Here Mags is demonstrating a law enforcement choke hold, while Aidan Patrick is protesting police brutality!

COPING WITH BEAR'S ILLNESS JANUARY 16, 2012

Bear did not have a good week following his first round of chemo for cancer.  Instead of feeling better as the strong drugs left his system, he grew increasingly listless.  He ate and drank very little until I was so very worried.

Today we went for his second course of chemo but when they tested his blood to prepare for it, his white blood count was too low to withstand the chemo drugs.  He has to wait another week, during which I hope to help him get his strength back.

Aidan is so worried about Bear that he follows him around and tries to squeeze next to him no matter where he is.  Here's a picture of them both in a cat snuggler intended for one small cat.

BEAR STARTS CHEMOTHERAPY JAN 9, 2012

Bear's chemo began yesterday with the insertion of a catheter into his leg vein and about 30 minutes of IV.  He is such a good patient and throughout the pre-chemo blood work and the actual procedure, he remained calm.  I brought him home and he felt okay, mostly becauser for the last few days he's been on a big dosage of prednisone.  Dr. Ellen warned us that the bad response would likely be on Day 2 and Day 3 and sure enough, he is quite flat and tired today.  I am continuing the chemo orally at home  for three days after each session at the clinic.  The drugs are so toxic that I have to wear gloves to give him the pills and to clean his litter box.  The nausea blocker seems to be working fine, thank goodness.  Here are some photos, the first two of which are of Bear yesterday when he got home.  His little brother Aidan would not leave his side all day - it seems he knows.  The second photo is today and he has been in that same place hunkered down most of the day.

 We have three weeks in a row of this protocol and then we'll assess his progress.  If the chemo seems to be helping, then he will graduate to a once every three weeks schedule indefinitely.



January 9, 2012 Day 1 Chemotherapy




Kitties resting after Bear's chemo treatment January 9, 2012



January 10, 2012  Bear feeling effects of chemotherapy

ROAD TRIP JAN 8, 2012

Sister Stacie and I had made plans to run down to Boulder to retrieve her forgotten sunglasses and to exchange my Colorado bird reference handbook, which was missing its first 35 pages!    Bear's cancer diagnosis and pending chemotherapy put a damper on that until sister Terri agreed to look in on him during the day.

As long as we were going out of town and because I didn't know how long it might be before I could do this again, we included plans to go to Elizabeth to visit Sydney at The Gabriel Foundation (TGF).   Then we decided to come home via Lyons, a great little town with a wonderful quilt shop.

We took off around 8:00 a.m. and the first and utterly wonderful thing that happened was Stacie spotted a bald eagle in a tree near my house.  Bald eagles spend the winter along the Cache La Poudre river which winds through this entire area.  Everyone sees them except me!  I hadn't seen a one since I moved here and I frequently visit the likely spots,  trying to catch a glimpse.  Here are photos of the eagle as we spotted him and then a close up courtesy of photoshop. Check the upper center of the photo.

This was a very auspicious start to our road trip.  Next it was off to Elizabeth, a small town southeast of Denver.  The night before, we had expected snow and only gotten a light dusting in the Fort Collins area.   As we got closer to Denver we realized the snow volume was increasing.   Then the  country roads into Elizabeth grew icier and snowier and weren't plowed!  We took our time and arrived later than we had planned, but safe and sound.

Julie Murad is the director of TGF and her home is located on the compound where the general aviaries of the sanctuary are.  It is a gorgeous home with a breathtaking view, full of light and harmony and grace.  Sydney is lucky enough to live there with Julie at her house, as he is an education and outreach parrot and must maintain his charming personality through interaction with people.  Here is the view from Julie's sun room, where many birds are either recuperating or have special needs that prevent them from living in a flighted aviary with a flock.

Here are some photos of us visiting with Sydney and Julie's critters:


Stacie laughing at Syd's jokes

 

Valerie hearing all of Sydney's latest news



Stacie enjoying one of Julie's darling dogs






Sydney and Valerie - an eternal bond

 From Elizabeth we hopped over to Boulder, grabbed the sunglasses and exchanged the book and were off to Lyons.  The trip from Boulder to Lyons is just beautiful and the snow was where it was supposed to be and not on the road!  We went to the Quilting Hands Quilt Shop and found that it had expanded its footprint and had a larger sale area!  Being on budgets, we shopped carefully and got a few great deals.  By now it was 3:00 p.m. and we hadn't had lunch, so we went to one of our favorites, Oskar Blues Grill and Brew, a very cool bar and grill in Lyons.  Stacie had the goat cheese/spinach ravioli and I had my usual gyros plate.  From there, we took the back way home on Highway 287 through old Loveland and into the College Avenue area of Fort Collins. 

All was well at home with the kitties and Terri had even left me some samples of her purchases at the Fort Collins Savory Spice Shop - yay!  It was a tiring but wonderful day and my heart is always joyful after seeing Sydney Eugene.

BAD BIRTHDAY NEWS JAN 3, 2012



Bear with young Aidan Patrick, his "brother"

Today I found out my beloved 12.5 year old cat Bear has cancer.  He began making a very odd sound while breathing, so in to the vet first thing this morning.  By the end of the day we were at Peak Vet Specialists with Dr. Ellen Miller.  She sedated him and scoped his nasal and upper respiratory tract.  A large tumor was revealed that was nearly blocking both passages.  She was almost sure it was lymphoma and pathology confirmed it.  He starts chemotherapy on Monday.  We will know within the first 3 weeks whether the drugs are working.  He will receive multiple drugs via IV once a week for three weeks and once every three weeks thereafter.  If successful, the tumor will shrink and he will have a remission that could even last a year.  If not, then we will revert to palliative measures until they don't work any more....
In a moment, we're reduced to grasping for months for him when I always took for granted that he would live to be at least 20.  It is devastating news.

GIRL'S DAY, BOULDER DEC 20

Sister Stacie's daughter, my niece Kristen Valerie (get the connection?), flew in from NYC for a pre-Christmas holiday.  Stacie and I picked her up and we went directly over to Boulder, which is quite charming.  Our plan was to shop, have lunch at a restaurant I'd been wanting to try and then get a pedicure at a place Kristen had heard of.

Here we are at the center of town:

After some great shopping, we headed over to The Kitchen, a very cool restaurant and bistro known for its social conscience and its emphasis on green and sustainable products and practices.  This is us eating our delicious lunch outside in 20 degree weather - the sun was out and the air was fresh, so we chose that over a pretty loud and overly warm table inside.  It was great!

Kristen had a pumpkin ragout, I had a burger from a very special cow they had purchased, and Stacie had tomato soup and hummus with flatbread.  Everything was very tasty!

 



Stacie took this silly pic of me trying not to smile and show my teeth!

Nicely fortified, we were off to more shopping and then hurried over to Ten20 Salon for our pedicures.  We had wisely left this until last, since we didn't relish the idea of running the streets of Boulder in flip flops and bare feet in the cold and snow.  As it was, we had a 4 block hike back to the car and our tootsies were freezing!   Ten20 is known for its cool ambience, its giant screen TV with non-stop chick flicks, and complimentary M & Ms and sodas. 

  

Stacie and I opted for red polish with silver glitter as a nod to Christmas and Kristen, being a tried and true New York girl, chose grey. 

Sophisticated grey for Kristen

Festive glittery red for Stacie above and Valerie below

We hit the road with the heater blasting and made good time back to Fort Collins.  It was a wonderful treat to spend the day with these girlies!